PRACTICAL SPEAKING GUIDE

Give feedback about behaviour, not personality

A teammate interrupted two colleagues before they finished describing a customer issue.

2026-09-27 · Original teaching notes by SpeakBEC

Start with the situation

A teammate interrupted two colleagues before they finished describing a customer issue. You want the next meeting to allow complete information. Calling the teammate “rude” would make the conversation about identity rather than a changeable behaviour.

A possible exchange

In today’s review, you started responding while Maya and Leo were still explaining the issue.

We missed part of the customer’s request and had to revisit it later.

Could we let each person finish, then ask questions?

How did that part of the meeting feel from your side?

Why this works

The first sentence describes something the other person can recognise or dispute. The second names its effect on the work. The request proposes an observable alternative, and the question invites information you may not have. You are not required to pretend certainty about the person’s motives.

Avoid turning one event into “You always…” or “You never…”. If it is a recurring pattern, give specific examples and agree how to review progress. Also avoid disguising a judgement as a question: “Why are you so impatient?” contains a personality claim. A useful feedback conversation leaves room for correction of your account while still making the requested change clear.

Change the condition and try it

A colleague sent a client a document with tracked internal comments still visible. Give feedback without calling them careless. Explain the consequence, agree one check before sending and invite their account of what happened. Keep the tone proportionate to this incident.

Try a spoken or written response before checking it. Did you address the changed condition? Could the listener identify the next step? The model is not the only acceptable answer.